the kingdom comes knocking: a reflection

May 5, 2008 - One Response

For the Lord your God is bringing you into a good land, a land of brooks of water, of fountains and springs, flowing out in the valleys and hills, a land of wheat and barley, of vines and fig trees and pomegranates, a land of olive trees and honey, a land in which you will eat bread without scarcity, in which you will lack nothing, a land whose stones are iron, and out of whose hills you can dig copper. And you shall eat and be full, and you shall bless the Lord your God for the good land he has given you.

Deuteronomy 8:7-10

Wedding Feast

The Problem Of Comfort

I have never known horror. To be sure, one can hardly be a pastor and remain free from terrible, grief-laden experience (sometimes that of others, sometimes your own). The kind of naked horror that is commonplace for many all over the world, however, is a stranger to me. My wife bore our last child in the near Hilton-like comforts of Swedish hospital, not in an IDP tent in the Sudan. And if I’ve never known horror, I’ve only ever had a passing acquaintance with physical need. I sometimes wonder if this impedes my understanding of heaven.

During the past few months, I have undergone a series of treatments designed to free my body of cancer cells. The treatments were accompanied by some unpleasant side-effects. These increased in intensity for the duration of the treatment, but didn’t peak and then start to abate until several weeks after my last radiation dose. During the worst of it, my doctor, who was surprised by their intensity and confused by their form, ordered me off of work and into bed.

Since that time I have been slowly recovering, and have returned to work. Aside from a mildly irritated throat and a Nevada-shaped patch of brown on the side of my face, the side-effects have wholly vanished. Every so often I hit a patch of fatigue that reminds me that my body is still trying to un-microwave itself, but these are rare.

What is most striking to me about the whole ordeal is how little real suffering was involved. Each day, on the way to my treatment, I would pass a window revealing several gaunt women who were obviously in pain. I could only assume from their robes that they were waiting for full body treatments, and that radiation therapy was, at this point, the least of their worries. Their faces said that they were there to refill the windshield wiper fluid in a car in need of an engine replacement.

Still, if Physical Need hasn’t moved into a spare bedroom in the Youngren home in the past months, at the very least he’s been over for coffee.
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The Table of Plenty

There are times when my hopes seem woefully inadequate: shallow desires for more sleep, more exercise, more time to study. Need (physical or otherwise) exposes these as reflections on hot desert sand. They are as real as the desert is dry, but at the same time illusory. A generous retirement is a laughable longing compared to the renewal of all things.

And so, rather than a dry fact-filled update (the essentials are above), I would rather talk about the latest glimpse of heaven that Need brought to my home during my treatment. Ironically, it came knocking at my door.

There were various kinds of soups: some potato, some chicken, some broccoli. They expelled the storm-clouds of Vick’s Vapo-Spray from our home and replaced them with rich, creamy sunshine. I was struck at the care taken to make sure all of their contents were able to be eaten by someone with a somewhat mutilated throat. I can only guess at how long it must have taken to puree some of these dishes. They were a balm.

Some brought wonderful pastas and Italian dishes. Thoughtfully, these were made in the mildest fashion possible to ensure again, that my already inflamed throat would be able to handle them. There were cheesy pastas and hot Lasagnas. One dish even had baked bread crumbs scattered all over the top. Delicious!

Night after night this phenomenon would occur: a knock at the door, a greeting, a smile, a careful inquiry (I want to know how you are doing but I don’t want to interrupt your rest), and then, a full-course meal for my entire family. Many times, these were brought by women with whom I had only a few interactions previously.

The main dishes themselves were offset by all kinds of sides, deserts, and drinks. Sometimes it seemed like the ladies who brought us these meals were using the occasion to simply fill our refrigerator with groceries. They would bring in box after box of goods while I watched helplessly in a percoset-induced stupor.
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The Kingdom Revealed

It is often in times of great need that the Kingdom of Heaven is most visible. Like an enchanted fortress, it sometimes reveals itself most clearly in the most desperate hours of night. And how much more beautiful are its thick walls, its soaring battlements, its hearth-fires to the one who finds himself wrapped in the strength of its embrace in his hour of need.

It was with great joy that I found myself in that Kingdom again and again, as I was attended to by its agents night after night. At the end of it all there was no bill to pay, no thank-you cards required, just simple smiles on the faces of those who know no greater pleasure than to serve their King.

And the King will answer them, Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.
Matthew 25:40

a quick request

May 5, 2008 - No Responses

I am going for my “all clear” cancer examinations on May 7th. Although I’ll need to continue regular check-ups for the next five years, this one is significant in that we’ll be checking to see if the treatment worked. Please be in prayer.

manna: this desert is just full of the stuff!

March 21, 2008 - 11 Responses

Out to LunchI won’t be posting regularly for the next 3-4 weeks, other than to send the occasional update on my cancer treatment.

We are currently on treatment 10/17. Truth be told, the past week or so has been somewhat physically demanding. The symptoms associated with the radiation treatment I receive daily arrived much earlier than expected for some reason. The past 9 days have been peppered with nausea, dehydration, a worse-than-Bob-Marley’s-worst-ever dry mouth, and a sunburn on my throat (a sunburn on my throat?).

I wish I could say more — there are nuggets and experiences in these past weeks that I will carry with me for a long long time — but for now: love and thanks to my deeply committed community, and to my wonderful, patient wife and family. And humble gratitude to my God, who suffered unimaginable pain so that I could have life. Who can complain about a short trip to the desert when it’s so full of manna?

and here we will leave you to your fate, mr. bond…

March 21, 2008 - No Responses

Snapped this on day three:

Under the laserĀ beams

replies: jesus vs. the moral majority (and other sinking ships)

March 5, 2008 - 2 Responses

Aaron answers his comments.

Alex From Montreal asked some great questions in the comments section of a recent post. I’d like to answer some of them more fully, and hopefully continue to round out the idea of Christians as a people who see Christ as Lord of everything.

Us Vs. Them
First, as I briefly mentioned in my reply in the comments, we must always remember that we are proclaiming the lordship of Christ, and not an ideological nuance, a politician, or even a certain moral agenda. Proclamation of morality says, “The world is wrong because of your [corporate greed, abortion, injustice].” Proclamation of Christ says, “The world is saved because of Christ’s [generosity, life, justice].” Proclamation of morality says “Mankind has no hope unless your [corporate greed, abortion, injustice] is stopped.” Proclamation of Christ says “Mankind has no hope unless Christ’s [generosity, life, justice] is found.” In this way, the Christian witness transcends politics and apathy.

Us Vs. Us
Second, it is my sincere belief that every Christian is called to continually proclaim of the kingship of Jesus. This constant shining of God’s glory is buried deep in the essence of what it means to be God’s people in the earth (see Matt 5:15-16 or Eph 1:23, for instance). And this calling doesn’t exist in a vacuum — biblically, men and women who truly understand God’s wonderful nature through Christ will naturally desire to see how He is the fulfillment of every desire, the answer to every problem on the earth (I look to verses like Rom 12:1-2; Psa 42:1-2; 73:24-25 for this). As G.K. Chesterton famously said, “If Christianity should happen to be true — then defending it may mean talking about everything.” So being a Christian and being a proclaimer of Christ-over-all are really one and the same thing.

I mention this not to be nit-picky, but rather because it is quite tempting in our 21st century context to talk about our spokespeople and their responsibilities. I would rather we talk about ourselves as speaking people and our responsibilities. So the real question we must ask is, “What are the everyday circumstances that God has placed me in so that I can live and speak in such a way that lifts up Christ?”

Them Vs. Us
Finally, a thought on sound bites: We will not win the sound bite war. The ship of societally normative Christianity is sinking in the west — focusing on our sound bites is bailing water with a dixie cup.

Clearchannel Exorcism

The true antidote to public slander is the humility of Christ. In 50 years Christianity will not have a new name in the world if it advances its repartee. It will have a new name if it sacrifices itself in love for the world to bring fame to Christ.

I don’t know about you, but for me that gives me tremendous hope. Because who really wants to have to babysit Mike Doria?

cancer cells & carbonite

February 29, 2008 - 2 Responses

Hold Still!We have now 100% confirmed type 1A lymphocyte-predominant Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. This is fantastic news: normal cancer can travel through your body through all kinds of pesky cancer transporter beams, but lymphocyte-predominant Hodgkin’s Lymphoma has to progress sequentially down the Oregon Trail of your Lymph Node system. That makes it containable and predictable. Which is good.

In addition, all tests have come back negative for any further traces of cancer. Which is also good. Very good.

The upshot of all of this is that treatment will be drastically abbreviated, localized, and will consist of radiation only. The aim of this treatment will be to nuke any stray cells that are currently at risk for going renegade. It’s hard to imagine a more favorable scenario, other than the doctors stepping out of a time machine letting us know that they’ve reviewed my medical records from 2059 and found no traces of the stuff.

We started today with a planning session. As part of this session, the radiology department makes a pillow shaped that hardens exactly to the shape of your head in under five minutes (!!!). Why are the big pharmaceuticals spending all of that money looking for cures when they could be marketing “Your Best Pillow Now”?

Then the radiologists told me that they’d need to do something to keep me absolutely still while they shot the radiation at me.

“What do you mean?” I asked, backing up unsteadily (they were inching forward with a very strange look in their eyes). All of the sudden, the floor opened beneath me, and I feel dozens of feet as a pillar of hot steam erupted out of nowhere. The last thing I remember was one of their mocking voices quietly saying “All too easy…” or something like that.

Treatment begins on 3/10 and runs daily for three weeks. It is obvious to us and everyone around us that we are wrapped up tight in the gracious providence of our loving Creator. Your prayers are and will continue to be deeply appreciated.

people and purpose: heroes trapped in apathy

February 26, 2008 - No Responses

As the practical implications of a worldview without purpose come to bear on everyday society, the ever-salient, holistic gospel of God’sĀ glory that makes all things new in Christ must be proclaimed and lived in His body, the church.

saved by giant head saliva

February 23, 2008 - No Responses

Crown Fountain at Millennium Park is just one of the many freaky cool places where Chicagoans can take refuge during Chicago’s hotter months. Yeah, yeah, I know standing there gawking at it probably brands me a tourist. Maybe it might seem less cool when we’ve been in Chicago for 20 years. Maybe. I doubt it.

missionaries: public or private?

February 20, 2008 - 5 Responses

The good news of the gospel has relevance for every aspect of society, but western culture would confine it to the private sphere. Arguably, Christians in America have spent too much time making political war on this aspect of western culture instead of laboring to proclaim the beauty, glory and reign of God which redeems all aspects of all cultures. Gospel missionaries must be ready to boldly proclaim the supremacy of Christ over every system of thought, even those that claim to be intrinsically objective.

Read the rest of this entry »

people and purpose: 10 things they hate about you

February 18, 2008 - 7 Responses

Pastor Aaron shares some statistics that show what younger generations think of Christianity, and how this perception is a far cry from the historical witness of the church. Note: Many of these statistics come from this relatively new book.